Going for walks with our pups is one of the most excruciatingly, frustrating activities I can think of doing. Today's walk (or shall I say crawl) consisted of us practically dragging our hounds behind us, and it was almost epic in the length of time it took us to walk two miles. Seventy three agonizing minutes dragged on, and on, and on. My internal dialog was not one that can be repeated in polite company. However, I have to keep a positive tone to my voice so that Lady Flame (in particular) doesn't pull a stand-up strike.
My dialog went like this:
After the first 30 minutes of a fairly good walk, things started to slow down...
Me (physical voice): "Oh boy, Lady Flame...you can make it up this tiny hill. Let's go!"
Me (internal voice): "Holy smokes, if we go any slower up this hill we'll be walking backwards."
Two minutes later...
Me (physical voice): "Good girl, Lady Flame. Let's jog...Yahooo!"
Me (internal voice): "Blankety, Blank, Blank...quit sniffing the side of the road and get a move on..."
Five minutes later as we continue to plod down the road in super hot 63F weather...
Me (physical voice): "Isn't the shade nice! Maybe we can walk a little faster in the cool shade!"
Me (internal voice): "I don't know how much more of this walk I can take. I need a root beer float!"
Six minutes later as we are all panting from the heat...
Me (physical voice): "Who wants water? Are you pups thirsty?"
Me (internal voice): "Good pups...everybody is getting hydrated...maybe now we can walk a bit faster!"
Two minutes later...
Me (physical voice): "Ooohhh...aren't we feeling refreshed! How's about we pick up the pace?"
Me (internal voice): "If Man were meant to walk this slowly, he would have evolved to have shorter legs..."
You get the gist...Repeat, repeat, repeat...
